july 5, 2010

Change.. It is inevitable though we constantly try to keep things the way they are.. It is good, or is it bad? I act like it is the worst thing in the world, but change is all around us.. I forget though that great things can come of change- it seems as though I only focus on how change is going to affect me negatively.. 
I think I am holding onto something so tight because I am afraid of how my life would be different without it.. But the truth is, I am simply holding onto the idea of something I thought could be great, but in reality, I am creating more difficultly in my life.. I have this idea of what I want and how I already have something so great.. I think what I really have is the potential of what could be but probably never will.. I am forcing this relationship to fit some perfect mold I have in my mind that is not actually happening in reality.. I am, quite potentially, ruining something great but am so afraid to let it go that I am actually destroying it.. 
Funny, the one thing I want to remain constant is changing right in front of my eyes while I am focused on what it was and what it could be.. I am not seeing it for what IT IS.. I am not living in reality.. I want new experiences and challenges and more growth and opportunities, but I don’t want anything to change.. I am so afraid of losing this greatness in my life, but I could potentially be hindering something else that will come from this change.. 
I think the time to act is now.. Yes it will be difficult and things are definitely going to be uncomfortable and different and maybe scary at times.. But if its supposed to happen, then who am I to change my destiny.. I don’t think I’m wise enough to make that call.. 

No comments:

Post a Comment