aug 4, 2010

Pride.. Its something we all have, just to varying degrees.. It is something that can enable honor, respect, community and joy.. It is also something that can get us into trouble, and create danger within ourselves and our relationships..  
This evening I was at a Dodger’s game, and I noticed how much pride the Dodger fans have.. No matter how badly or successfully the Dodgers are playing, the fans stick by their team 100% and make it known to everyone what team is the “best”.. They tease fans of other teams, making it perfectly clear that to cheer for the Dodger’s is the only logical choice.. Their sense of pride is so strong, that at times it is great to see that sense of community between the fans.. However, it also gets the fans into trouble at times, making them relentless and merciless to others.. Sometimes the fans do not know when to stop or remember that it is just a game.. 
We can get that way within ourselves and with our relationships.. When we have too much pride, we see our way as the only right and logical point of view.. We view everyone else as just wrong and are not open to learn about other opinions.. 
I can be the first to admit that I have a lot of pride.. I view my thoughts as profound, my friendship as excellent, and my opinions as correct.. This definitely gets me into trouble a lot.. At times I can be so closed off to other ideas that I only focus on my own and create a pointless argument.. My pride makes me become so stubborn that I refuse to see my faults and flaws.. Instead I point out how I am not wrong and that I am the victim and my views are correct.. I start to have a narrow view of what I am willing to tolerate, and soon I stop listening to what the other person has to say.. I stop learning and growing.. I simply just think of my argument, how it affects me, and wait my turn to state my opinion.. This approach gets people nowhere, yet I continue to do it.. 
Its weird because I am able to see my mishaps after the fact and the various ways in which I can improve.. However, in the heat of the moment, I am incredibly stubborn and do not admit I am wrong in any way.. I do not even try to understand the other person’s side or listen to their feelings on the matter.. I wonder why I do that.. Maybe I’m not willing to be vulnerable.. Maybe I’m not willing to let other people have the last word or the satisfaction of being “right”.. Maybe I only thrive off of being “right” because what would I be if I was “wrong”?.. 
Who knows.. Maybe I’m just too stubborn to change or find out the reason why.. 

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